I sat with her
There was water
Summer, sun
It shouldn’t have mattered
But it did
You know as well as I
That the circumstances matter
So I sat there
With that comfortable feeling
That of everywhere I could be
Anywhere on Earth
I wanted to be there
And only there
She wasn’t even trying
Yet there it was
Story of her life
Story of mine
To her, nothing
To me, earth-shattering
Somehow, profound
Every word of her speech
Was riddled with clues
They begged to be found
But I didn’t want to find them
Didn’t want to listen to what
They would say
So we drank
We laughed
We knew that everything
Was too good to ever last
But we didn’t care
Because we were there
Mid-sentence
She paused
As if trying to say
What was on her mind
Her mouth was half-open
Her eyes had narrowed
She looked somehow mischievous
Yet shy
All at once
Then she changed the subject
I would give
A lot of what I have
To know what she was thinking
Right then
But she wouldn’t tell me
And I’m convinced
That I’ll never know
It was a kiss goodnight
A lonely car ride home
I wasn’t convinced I would
Ever see her again
Maybe that was
For the best
Maybe some afflictions
Are only cured
By abstinence
But I’m sick
Of abstaining
Of pretending
There is nobility in failure
A failure worn well
Is still a failure
Because you can fail better
But you can never fail well
Because out there
Someone is winning
With the girl
You love